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My Needs are Simple and Few!


My dear owner,

Thank you once again for giving me shelter. (Lick, slurp, lick, slurp) Aside from food, shelter and love, my needs are simple and few! Since I am dependent upon you to provide for me, we should discuss my basic needs. I can lend you the canine insight that you may lack as a human, particularly if I am your first canine companion pet.

Of course, I require a steady supply of food and fresh water, and while I long for the same quality of culinary delight that you routinely enjoy, I know that's an unrealistic expectation. As long as you feed me something that's nutritionally suited for my species, I'll happily devour whatever little morsels of people food you throw my way. I'm not particularly fond of that stuff that comes from the tap, but it'll do in a pinch. I draw the line at drinking from toilets.

Splish splash

In addition to my regular veterinary care, I'll need a flea and tick collar at a bare minimum. How would you like those critters crawling all over you? Please help me to prevent them from crawling on me.

If you want to show me off for company, how about you pick up some grooming aids so I can look my sexy best? I SO look forward to weekly shampoos. Who needs rubber duckies when you get to splash at humans at bath time? I understand that humans multitask, and I love those massages with the grooming gloves, so we could watch TV together while you give my coat a nightly massage. I cannot vacuum after myself (but maybe you could suggest that as an advanced course at obedience school), so you might want to pick up some of those hair pickup tools for yourself.

A bowl of my very own

I could use a doggie bowl or two, something simple, yet elegant, perhaps something with my name on it. It's not that I mind sharing your everyday bowls, but it would be nice to have something that's all mine when it comes to feeding and watering troughs. I'll need one for food and one for water, and an everyday pattern will suffice-no need for an expensive china pattern.

Collars and other jewelry

I look forward to our walks together, but it's just too tempting for me to stray when you walk me without a leash. I think the government suits must be on to us doggies, since they've enacted those pesky leash laws everywhere. So, if you want to continue spending this quality time with me, you'll need to find a leash that fits me properly, is strong enough to hold me, and is the proper length. If it's too long, I'll trip all over myself, but if it's not long enough, I won't have the room I need to roam. I know that there is a dizzying array of leashes available, but please use a little discretion and choose one with the right "look" for my breed so that all the other doggies don't make fun of me. They can be so darn cruel!

Creature comforts

I was told that most humans have jobs, so I understand that you'll be spending time away from me. If you could see your way clear to leaving a few creature comforts behind, it would really help. First, I don't want to hog your people furniture-it's too big for me anyway. I could use one of those nice, comfy doggie beds. Floors are meant to be walked on, not lounged upon. I know that there are a number of places that I should not go when you're gone, so spray that indoor repellent, and I'll learn the first time. I'm a quick study-something about Pavlov!

Dogs in toyland

Toys will help me pass the time, assist me in my development, and most importantly, distract me from the fact that you're not here. I could have some REAL fun if you'd get me my very own cat, but I realize that is not likely. Here is a list of things that I would really, really enjoy if you cannot get me my own cat:

- A nice supply of those rubber, chewy thingies

- Squishy, squeaky, talking toys

- Rawhide chews, dental chews, anything that I will mistake for a bone

- Treats, treats, and more treats - a never-ending supply of treats

Special occasion gifts

You humans have your porches, your patios and your tree houses. I would give my doggie eye teeth for my very own dog house. You could have Santa deliver it in time for the holidays, or you save it for a birthday treat. Either way, it'll give me my own little hideaway and protect me from the elements, should you take temporary leave of your human senses and leave me outside while you run one of your many errands. If you can't swing the canine estate just yet, maybe we could negotiate a doggie door?

Above all, I require the same devotion and attention that you expect from me. Treat me right, and I'll be your best friend for life.

Love and kisses,

Your beloved doggie

M J Plaster is a successful author who provides information on shopping online for pet supplies and needs and treats for dogs. M J Plaster has been a commercial freelance writer for almost two decades, most recently specializing in home and garden, the low-carb lifestyle, investing, and anything that defines la dolce vita.


TODAYS NEWS BY OFFICEJAX FREE ADVERTISING AND AD EXCHANGE SOLUTIONSMORE PETS INFORMATION RESOURCES updated Tue. July / 07 / 2020

How To Ease Separation Anxiety For Pets Being Left Alone For First Time In Months - Block Club Chicago
How To Ease Separation Anxiety For Pets Being Left Alone For First Time In Months  Block Club Chicago

Keeping your pets safe in the heat - YourErie
Keeping your pets safe in the heat  YourErie

Covid-19 kept them separated from their pets for months. So they've chartered a plane to bring them home - CNN
Covid-19 kept them separated from their pets for months. So they've chartered a plane to bring them home  CNN

Pets of the Week at the Pasadena Humane Society – Pasadena Weekendr - Pasadena Now
Pets of the Week at the Pasadena Humane Society – Pasadena Weekendr  Pasadena Now

Clinton group helping people keep their pets needs assistance - Quad City Times
Clinton group helping people keep their pets needs assistance  Quad City Times

Keep your pets safe in the summer heat - WDIV ClickOnDetroit
Keep your pets safe in the summer heat  WDIV ClickOnDetroit

Pets of the week - Chicago Tribune
Pets of the week  Chicago Tribune

Runaway pets wind up in shelters in the aftermath of Fourth of July fireworks - WLKY Louisville
Runaway pets wind up in shelters in the aftermath of Fourth of July fireworks  WLKY Louisville

The Animal Foundation takes in more than 270 lost pets in first six days of July - News3LV
The Animal Foundation takes in more than 270 lost pets in first six days of July  News3LV

Veterinarian talks about warning signs for pets in hot weather - WJRT
Veterinarian talks about warning signs for pets in hot weather  WJRT

Mission Impawsible: Reuniting pets with their families during COVID-19 - Yahoo Sports
Mission Impawsible: Reuniting pets with their families during COVID-19  Yahoo Sports

With record heat this week, Denver warns not leave pets in cars - 9News.com KUSA
With record heat this week, Denver warns not leave pets in cars  9News.com KUSA

Pets of the week: Ziggy and Merlot want to move in with you - MLive.com
Pets of the week: Ziggy and Merlot want to move in with you  MLive.com

WHAT ABOUT CORONA VIRUS AND PETS? | Insiders - Tullahoma News and Guardian
WHAT ABOUT CORONA VIRUS AND PETS? | Insiders  Tullahoma News and Guardian

AVHS' New Home To Home Program Gives Pets a Smoother Transition into a New Home - Auburn Examiner
AVHS' New Home To Home Program Gives Pets a Smoother Transition into a New Home  Auburn Examiner

Robotic pets provide companionship to older residents in Clearfield County - connectradio.fm
Robotic pets provide companionship to older residents in Clearfield County  connectradio.fm

3 residents, pets escape house fire in Hill-N-Park neighborhood - Greeley Tribune
3 residents, pets escape house fire in Hill-N-Park neighborhood  Greeley Tribune

Pets of the Week for July 7, 2020 - WKRN News 2
Pets of the Week for July 7, 2020  WKRN News 2

Pet Advice: Heat stress and your pets - KSNT News
Pet Advice: Heat stress and your pets  KSNT News

Pets are stressed out, too - Jill Lopez
Pets are stressed out, too  Jill Lopez

Multiple pets turned in to the Humane Society after the 4th of July weekend - FOX21News.com
Multiple pets turned in to the Humane Society after the 4th of July weekend  FOX21News.com

The dangers of leaving pets in hot, parked cars - WSAW
The dangers of leaving pets in hot, parked cars  WSAW

LifeLine Animal Project's Digital Foster Showcase introduces adoptable pets to the public - Northwest Georgia News
LifeLine Animal Project's Digital Foster Showcase introduces adoptable pets to the public  Northwest Georgia News

Lake Humane Society taking part in Bissell Pet Foundation’s 'Empty the Shelters' - News-Herald.com
Lake Humane Society taking part in Bissell Pet Foundation’s 'Empty the Shelters'  News-Herald.com

Pandemic Causing Problems for Pets - My Moinfo
Pandemic Causing Problems for Pets  My Moinfo

Heirloom Pet Products launches hemp-based meal toppers for pets - Pet Food Processing
Heirloom Pet Products launches hemp-based meal toppers for pets  Pet Food Processing

Hot temperatures can create health risks for pets - News8000.com - WKBT
Hot temperatures can create health risks for pets  News8000.com - WKBT

What you need to do before bringing home a new pet - The Washington Post
What you need to do before bringing home a new pet  The Washington Post

Breeders could be blocked from Chicago pet stores - Chicago Tribune
Breeders could be blocked from Chicago pet stores  Chicago Tribune

This Dog Water Bottle Has a Hidden Feature That Makes It Easy to Keep Pets Hydrated on Long Walks - PEOPLE
This Dog Water Bottle Has a Hidden Feature That Makes It Easy to Keep Pets Hydrated on Long Walks  PEOPLE

N.J. pets in need: July 6, 2020 - nj.com
N.J. pets in need: July 6, 2020  nj.com

Pets Killed In Pinedale, Sheriff’s Office Investigating - Cowboy State Daily
Pets Killed In Pinedale, Sheriff’s Office Investigating  Cowboy State Daily

‘Pets in Need Project’ delivering free veterinary care, food and supplies to the homeless during COVID-19 - KTLA
‘Pets in Need Project’ delivering free veterinary care, food and supplies to the homeless during COVID-19  KTLA

US Pet Products and Services are Expected to Reach 100 Billion in Sales for 2020, the Over-the-Counter Pet Meds are a Huge Percentage of Consumer Spending - PRNewswire
US Pet Products and Services are Expected to Reach 100 Billion in Sales for 2020, the Over-the-Counter Pet Meds are a Huge Percentage of Consumer Spending  PRNewswire

Runaway pets wind up in SoCal shelters in the aftermath of Fourth of July fireworks - KABC-TV
Runaway pets wind up in SoCal shelters in the aftermath of Fourth of July fireworks  KABC-TV

Multiple pets treated after fire causes heavy damage to northwest Las Vegas home - News3LV
Multiple pets treated after fire causes heavy damage to northwest Las Vegas home  News3LV

PHOTOS: Gwinnett Animal Shelter Adoptable Pets of the Week -- July 3 - Gwinnettdailypost.com
PHOTOS: Gwinnett Animal Shelter Adoptable Pets of the Week -- July 3  Gwinnettdailypost.com

Dumb Friends League Adoptable Pets Week of: July 6 | YourHub - The Know
Dumb Friends League Adoptable Pets Week of: July 6 | YourHub  The Know

Miami-Dade County Animal Services Hosts Drive-Through Pet Food Bank Tuesday - CBS Miami
Miami-Dade County Animal Services Hosts Drive-Through Pet Food Bank Tuesday  CBS Miami

BISSELL Pet Foundation is sponsoring pet adoption fees at Lincoln County shelter during 'Empty the Shelters' - Elk Valley Times
BISSELL Pet Foundation is sponsoring pet adoption fees at Lincoln County shelter during 'Empty the Shelters'  Elk Valley Times

Humane Society reminding people of danger of leaving pets in hot vehicles after dog left in car dies - KMBC Kansas City
Humane Society reminding people of danger of leaving pets in hot vehicles after dog left in car dies  KMBC Kansas City

Animal Crossing: New Horizons new sea creatures make the best pets - Polygon
Animal Crossing: New Horizons new sea creatures make the best pets  Polygon

Smile, Sparky! Pet Photo Day is July 17 - Detroit Lakes Tribune
Smile, Sparky! Pet Photo Day is July 17  Detroit Lakes Tribune

KC Pet Project caring for kitten with two faces - WDAF FOX4 Kansas City
KC Pet Project caring for kitten with two faces  WDAF FOX4 Kansas City

Topeka Police warn pet owners about dangers of overheating - KSNT News
Topeka Police warn pet owners about dangers of overheating  KSNT News

Aldermen OK Ban on Sale of Dogs, Cats, Rabbits at Pet Stores to Stop Breeders - WTTW News
Aldermen OK Ban on Sale of Dogs, Cats, Rabbits at Pet Stores to Stop Breeders  WTTW News

Empty the Shelters event to reduce pet adoption fees - WENY-TV
Empty the Shelters event to reduce pet adoption fees  WENY-TV

COVID-19 crisis renews calls to reduce pet population - Mahoning Matters
COVID-19 crisis renews calls to reduce pet population  Mahoning Matters

Pet King Brands Partners with Orscheln® Farm & Home to Offer ZYMOX® Pet Health Care Products - PRNewswire
Pet King Brands Partners with Orscheln® Farm & Home to Offer ZYMOX® Pet Health Care Products  PRNewswire

Holiday fireworks lead to rise in run away pets - KAKE
Holiday fireworks lead to rise in run away pets  KAKE

Adopt A Pet Tuesday: Cisco, Blaze & Milo - 9 & 10 News - 9&10 News
Adopt A Pet Tuesday: Cisco, Blaze & Milo - 9 & 10 News  9&10 News

Our cute pets column has a name | Creature Comforts - GamesIndustry.biz
Our cute pets column has a name | Creature Comforts  GamesIndustry.biz

8 tips for pet care in hot weather - WETM - MyTwinTiers.com
8 tips for pet care in hot weather  WETM - MyTwinTiers.com

How to Make Your Pet Happy, With Animal Behavior Expert Zazie Todd - Lifehacker
How to Make Your Pet Happy, With Animal Behavior Expert Zazie Todd  Lifehacker

Growth Stocks To Watch: Pet Pharmacy Leader Nears Buy Point - Investor's Business Daily
Growth Stocks To Watch: Pet Pharmacy Leader Nears Buy Point  Investor's Business Daily

Husband’s dogged about not wanting a pet - Sentinel & Enterprise
Husband’s dogged about not wanting a pet  Sentinel & Enterprise

Vet answers questions about common pet health issues - Fox 59
Vet answers questions about common pet health issues  Fox 59

Adopt a pet: Oklahoma City-area pet adoption options - Oklahoman.com
Adopt a pet: Oklahoma City-area pet adoption options  Oklahoman.com

As weather grows hotter, pets could be at risk - Carolinacoastonline
As weather grows hotter, pets could be at risk  Carolinacoastonline

Veterinarians offer advice to keep your pets calm during Fourth of July fireworks - KBJR 6
Veterinarians offer advice to keep your pets calm during Fourth of July fireworks  KBJR 6

The Pets Left Behind by Covid-19 - The New York Times
The Pets Left Behind by Covid-19  The New York Times

Someone is shooting people’s pets in Pinedale - Buckrail
Someone is shooting people’s pets in Pinedale  Buckrail

FDA cautions pet owners about infecting their pets in new video - CNN
FDA cautions pet owners about infecting their pets in new video  CNN

American Airlines says people signed their pets up for frequent-flyer programs to try and scam big mileage bon - Business Insider India
American Airlines says people signed their pets up for frequent-flyer programs to try and scam big mileage bon  Business Insider India

Pet of the Week: 7/7/20 - WANE
Pet of the Week: 7/7/20  WANE

Smithtown Adoptable Pet Of The Week: Jade - Smithtown, NY Patch
Smithtown Adoptable Pet Of The Week: Jade  Smithtown, NY Patch

Pet helps alert family of Franklin house fire - WSMV Nashville
Pet helps alert family of Franklin house fire  WSMV Nashville

These 17 pets would love to share space with you: June 27-28 - SILive.com
These 17 pets would love to share space with you: June 27-28  SILive.com

Hoover Unveils SmartWash Pet Carpet Cleaner - HomeWorld Business
Hoover Unveils SmartWash Pet Carpet Cleaner  HomeWorld Business

A surge in animal adoptions, tips to help pets cope with separation, more. Read the full edition of Gambit here. - NOLA.com
A surge in animal adoptions, tips to help pets cope with separation, more. Read the full edition of Gambit here.  NOLA.com

Tau-PET Tracer PI-2620 Could Set New Standards for an Improved Diagnosis of Progressive Supranuclear Palsy - GlobeNewswire
Tau-PET Tracer PI-2620 Could Set New Standards for an Improved Diagnosis of Progressive Supranuclear Palsy  GlobeNewswire

Get low cost pet vaccines at Gwinnett event this weekend - Atlanta Journal Constitution
Get low cost pet vaccines at Gwinnett event this weekend  Atlanta Journal Constitution

Pet-grooming on wheels: How new Mercer Island groomer's model is faring amid pandemic - Mercer Island Reporter
Pet-grooming on wheels: How new Mercer Island groomer's model is faring amid pandemic  Mercer Island Reporter

SCARF accepting ominations for Top Pet - sidneydailynews.com
SCARF accepting ominations for Top Pet  sidneydailynews.com

Reba the Hen's wild ride: Family's beloved pet chicken escapes in car, returns home - NBC Montana
Reba the Hen's wild ride: Family's beloved pet chicken escapes in car, returns home  NBC Montana

Practical Tips to Prepare Your Pet for the Groomer - yurview.com
Practical Tips to Prepare Your Pet for the Groomer  yurview.com

Equine PET Scanner Making Big Strides at Santa Anita Park - Equi Management
Equine PET Scanner Making Big Strides at Santa Anita Park  Equi Management

COVID Renews Calls to Bring Down Pet Population - Cleveland Scene
COVID Renews Calls to Bring Down Pet Population  Cleveland Scene

Pittsburgh Public Safety Urges Pet Owners To Avoid Leaving Animals In Cars Amid Soaring Temperatures - CBS Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh Public Safety Urges Pet Owners To Avoid Leaving Animals In Cars Amid Soaring Temperatures  CBS Pittsburgh

Paws for Health: Protecting Your Pet from Heartworm Disease - 9 & 10 News - 9&10 News
Paws for Health: Protecting Your Pet from Heartworm Disease - 9 & 10 News  9&10 News

Leap invites female, POC pet start-up founders to apply for 2020 Bootcamp - Pet Food Processing
Leap invites female, POC pet start-up founders to apply for 2020 Bootcamp  Pet Food Processing

Meet Heathcliff, FOX8’s Pet of the Week - WGHP FOX 8 Greensboro
Meet Heathcliff, FOX8’s Pet of the Week  WGHP FOX 8 Greensboro

Take BC SPCA’s pledge to keep pets safe this summer - Trail Times
Take BC SPCA’s pledge to keep pets safe this summer  Trail Times

Shelby Township home fire displaces family, including pet - C&G Newspapers
Shelby Township home fire displaces family, including pet  C&G Newspapers

Pet Collection MMO StoneAge World Kicks Off 'Machine Invasion' - MMORPG.com
Pet Collection MMO StoneAge World Kicks Off 'Machine Invasion'  MMORPG.com

Why fireworks cause stress for pets and what you can do to help them cope - WJW FOX 8 News Cleveland
Why fireworks cause stress for pets and what you can do to help them cope  WJW FOX 8 News Cleveland

Dog lovers show off their pets' skills in dog agility competition - Fox11online.com
Dog lovers show off their pets' skills in dog agility competition  Fox11online.com

A timely reminder that pets shouldn't be left in hot vehicles - OrilliaMatters
A timely reminder that pets shouldn't be left in hot vehicles  OrilliaMatters

Class pets become long-term pandemic houseguests while St. Louis schools are out - St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Class pets become long-term pandemic houseguests while St. Louis schools are out  St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Country Dayz Pet Resort sets 'Yappy Hour' - Wilmington News Journal, OH
Country Dayz Pet Resort sets 'Yappy Hour'  Wilmington News Journal, OH

Latest Hinsdale Adoptable Pet: Evan - Hinsdale, IL Patch
Latest Hinsdale Adoptable Pet: Evan  Hinsdale, IL Patch

Pet Food Global Market Opportunities And Strategies To 2030: COVID 19 Impact and Recovery - PRNewswire
Pet Food Global Market Opportunities And Strategies To 2030: COVID 19 Impact and Recovery  PRNewswire

Pets of the Week: 100 Litter - WITN
Pets of the Week: 100 Litter  WITN

Keep your summer fun pet-safe and pet-friendly with top outdoor pet gear - CNN
Keep your summer fun pet-safe and pet-friendly with top outdoor pet gear  CNN

Keeping your pets safe during monsoon season | Critter Corner - AZFamily
Keeping your pets safe during monsoon season | Critter Corner  AZFamily

Special Report: The pros and cons of purchasing pet insurance - WSBT-TV
Special Report: The pros and cons of purchasing pet insurance  WSBT-TV

2 pets killed in Fort Wayne house fire - WANE
2 pets killed in Fort Wayne house fire  WANE

The Adoptables: Pets of the week (07/01/20) | Local - Fredericksburg.com
The Adoptables: Pets of the week (07/01/20) | Local  Fredericksburg.com

Pet owners put furry friends on diets after they gained weight in lockdown - Fox News
Pet owners put furry friends on diets after they gained weight in lockdown  Fox News

Pet dog alerts sleeping Harrisburg couple of a fire next-door - KELOLAND.com
Pet dog alerts sleeping Harrisburg couple of a fire next-door  KELOLAND.com

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